Rules For Insulting The Fat Bloke

There is an idiot doing his best to try and insult me on Twitter, and to be honest, he really isn't doing very well...so I thought for people's future reference, here are the rules for insulting me...

1 - Be able to spell. I'm sorry but try and insult me and you cannot spell or you do it in "txt spk" then I am more than likely to just laugh. Currently this guy is try to insult in almost all CAPITALS, in text speak and does not know how to spell some of the words he tries to insult me with.

2 - Actually know what you are talking about. It's not difficult to find out details about me, my details are not hidden in any way shape or form, yet this jackass tonight is insistent that I am a Pakistani female! In case you have not seen my ulgy mug, CLICK HERE and you can see that I'm slightly not...

3 - Actually have something original to say.  If all you have to say is I'm ugly, stupid, trailer trash (junior jackass, take note...it is TRAILER not TRAILOR as you have been saying all evening) then stop right now because frankly you will seriously bore me.

Right, have you got the rules?  Good good...

My brain hates me...

Oh yeah my brain and mainly my subconscious truly hate me at the moment...

It's not good enough for it that I'm suffering these godawful dreams that are driving me nuts as it is, it wanted to kick the paranoia into full swing today too.

I went shopping at my local Sainsbury's and all was kinda going well, chest was a bit tight, but that was understandable as I'd walked uphill from Yam Towers to the store.

As I was walking around the store with Haunted Rock Cake, the old lady started staring at me, really staring at me...it was like a switch had been flipped in my mind...

EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME

I have to state now, I know that everyone was not staring at me. They have things going on their little Worlds that make an invisible dot on an invisible dot in comparison, but despite me knowing this my mind kept telling me everyone is staring at me and judging me.

It was like it all the walk home too, felt everyone in the cars and buses were staring at me, every window had someone staring at me...if I was able to run I would have.

I'm at home now, I feel less panicky, and I'm in my room, I'm safe nobody can see me...damn my brain.

Must I really sleep?

You know there used to be a time I loved to sleep..I'd have beautiful dreams of various things (odd fact for you hear all my dreams in the last year barring last few months have always involved feathers! Oh yeah, and all my dreams have always involved something purple...odd, no?) and I would wake refreshed, sometimes relaxed and ready to take on the day.

Not any more.

For several weeks now I have had the same nightmare again and again and again, exactly the same thing and it is driving me nuts. I'm not going to go into details as it's not very nice, but it is one incident in my childhood that I would rather forget.

The only times I have had respite so far has been on evening a few nights back...and when I'm drunk, and I'm not going to become an alcoholic just so I can get a good nights sleep.

It is getting to the extent that I just do not want to sleep any more, I'd rather stay awake and go mental.

I just don't get why this would have to come up now, I really do think my subconscious truly hates me, I didn't think that was even possible.

So, so wrong....

I was looking through my Twitter feed as you do, when I saw a link for a place called that does bikinis and and swimwear for babies...I mean, what the heck?

This is really so wrong...don't get me wrong, babies need nice clothing and all, but this really is not appropriate at all. I looked at the home page and just could not believe it, and immediately closed the page, this kind of thing is a paedophile's dream...and in some ways takes away from the innocence of a child too, which they deserve to hold onto as long as they can.

What going to be next...corsets, lingerie and crotchless diapers???

And no, there is no link to this website, I'm not promting this place.

The Cat in the Bin...Genuine Shocker or Set Up?

OK, I think pretty much everyone would have seen the footage of a woman who looks like she is about to stroke a cat on a wall and then puts it into a wheelie bin...and in case you haven't then here's what you missed...

WARNING DO NOT PLAY THIS EASILY UPSET BY ANIMAL CRUELTY



Now, I am an animal lover, I have been around animals all my life and IF this is a genuine thing, then the lady concerned should be ashamed of herself.

However, I do wonder if this was actually set up so a few people got their fifteen minutes of fame.
The CCTV camera seems to be placed oddly for example, if it was there for security reasons, surely it would be aimed at the pathway?
Another thing, how come other people did not see this happen?  She wasn't exactly sneaky about it at all, she was rather blatant.

I really hope this wasn't a set up for the poor cat's sake, but there's something about this that just doesn't seem to be quite right though.

Subliminal weight loss?

As you guys may well know, I am a tad overweight (read - the guy is a fat melonfarmer!!) and I am now trying a new method to attempt weight loss, well new to me anyways.

I have downloaded an app for my iPhone called Lazy Diet, which basically places subliminals under a playlist of music (or you can just listen to the subliminal with no music, listening to music is my preference) and they say with listening to this for 2 hours a day every day you can lose weight as the subliminals

I cannot do anything right it seems

I'm not going to be particularly active on the social networks (especially Facebook and Twitter) this weekend (except from maybe a few Fat Blog entries) as it seems every time I open my mouth I say the wrong thing.

If you need to get in touch, and you are important to me, you know how to get hold of me.

Getting it off your chest...

OK, I have heard a few messages that seem to be condoning the Twitter #boobiewed ongoing cancer campaign.

In case you are not aware of this, on twitter, many ladies (and some gentlemen too) change their avatar so they are revealing their bra/showing their chest for breast cancer awareness. I personally think this is a brilliant and very clever idea (whoever created it deserves serious kudos in my opinion) and I'm not saying that because I'm a man and I get to see ladies chests for the day, I think cancer awareness is nothing but a good thing.

Recently, a few people have slammed this idea, saying that it should not be done...why?

It's not like they are completely topless, all the shots I have seen in my timeline have been quite tasteful.  Is it a case of people being a bunch of killjoys?  It's not like they are causing any harm to anyone, and for some people I can imagine it brightens up their day!

Come on people,you don't have to do it if you don't want to (after all we live in a age of choice) and if it bothers you that badly, you can always unfollow the people that do partake in this brilliant cause.

Me personally, I salute those people who do and will champion this cause.

Food...glorious food?

What is it with people of late trying to make me eat?
Let's look at the facts, I am 6' 1" and currently weight a lot more than I should do...and of late I have not been feeling very hungry.

I am not going to waste away missing a few meals, in some ways I am probably going to do myself a favour.  There would have been a time once that I'd force myself to eat three meals a day because I'm diabetic (a doctor told me I had to) and last year a doctor told me that there is no need for me to eat if I am not hungry and in fact would probably do myself a favour by not eating,

So, there's the medical facts, I eat when I am hungry and that's all there is to it...and if you don't like it, well....personally I don't care, it's your problem you don't have to follow/read/talk to me/whatever.

And I won't lose any sleep if you decide you don't want to know me....